I have had an experience already today with the issue of control- control of your body, control of your environment, and the perception of your own control of the world around you. I'll spare you the nitty-gritty details and skip to the good stuff...
Having too much control over your life can be dangerous thing. But even worse is the feeling of no control at all.
In a foreign land, doing your best to speak a foreign language, eating new foods, sleeping on a new bed in someone else's apartment, spending different currencies- it can be difficult to feel in control of one's self. I was aware of that. What I didn't know was how valuable some of the small things can be when you feel adrift in your own skin: an office, a cafe vendor, a jacket, a familiar voice, and yes, even a pen. Sometimes all you need is a tiny object to grab hold of, to give you comfort, to remind you that an adventure is not linear and predictable.
To the little unexpected gems that hold great power, perspective, and comfort. Thank you.
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I think you may have just hit the nail on the head as to why I was so stressed when I first got here. Lack of control. I don't do well in that state! Yes, I'm an admitted control freak. Things are getting better I must say, though learning French would help a lot!
ReplyDeleteI bet all you had to do was look at a picture of me, and you felt better. Glad I could help.
ReplyDeleteFeeling out of sorts is totally normal. But from where I'm sitting, you're doing a damn fine job holding your own. I think you'll be fine. (Just my two cents...)
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